Let me just start off by telling you that I am one of the best gamers around. The only problem is, that I have never played a game before, however, today my luck will change, I will finally be able to buy a console.
When I got to the store, all the consoles were way over priced. But then and old man threw a ps3 at me. I suddenly I turned around and asked the old man what the price was. All the old man said, "oh, it's won't cost you a dime, but it will cost you your soul, MWUAHAHAHAHA!", followed by a lightning strike and the background setting on fire. I immediatly turned around and thanked the old man, and rushed home as fast as the laws of physics would allow. After I got home, I shoved a copy of borderlands 2 in my new ps3, it was extremely new, even though it was an old prototype, but instead of showing the regular title, it showed the words: "BUGLE MAN 2" in bright, hypur realistic blood. The only options were: Continue, New Game, Multiplayer, Options and Quit Game. This is strange, because borderlands 2 didn't have a multiplayer! so I clicked New game, and instead of cell shaded enemies, everyone was pixelated, and the enemies were so gory, they had empty eye sockets, drenched in blood and covered with decaying tissue. Their skin completely torn apart and entrails hanging out. I was instantly killed, and instead of the normal respawn menu coming up, it said, zero died in the hosipital of an anurysm of stupidity
I imediately closed the game and sold it on ebay
The End